Jessica Biel wants to work in a morgue, finds dead bodies fascinating

May 2024 · 4 minute read

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Jessica Biel has a new show called Limetown. She plays the host of an NPR-type podcast looking to solve an old mystery about a town whose entire population vanished (but it’s not Roanoke – or maybe that’s the twist, I don’t know). I watched the trailer and it did nothing for me, except reminded me that Stanley Tucci (who is in it) is brilliant and then I got sad because he has to play a supporting role to Jessica Biel. The good news is the show is on Facebook and I quit that bitch long ago, so I don’t have to watch it. Jessica visited Late Night with Seth Meyers to chat up Limetown and to do so, she wore a sheer, lace, full-body jumpsuit. I don’t have pics but the Daily Mail does if you want to see it in it’s full glory. The DM calls it “racy,” I call it “dumb.” Seth asked her about the show and how she got into it (she’s also an executive producer) and Jessica said that True Crime is her life. Apparently, she listens to it whenever she can and would go 24/7, if only her demanding schedule would allow. When Seth suggested she start her own true crime podcast, she said she’d love to because she could make a lot of money and not have to be on camera. Then she decided she wanted to do books on tape because she’s, “not sure (she has) anything to say, but I could do other people’s work.” So Seth brings her back to topic, and this is what transpires at the 1:04 mark (it’s queued). I’ll transcribe the bit I’m talking about below:

I feel like if you do a True Crime podcast, you’d do a little research ahead of time. They don’t just give a thing and be like, what happened? Explain!
I’d have to investigate, I’d have to be an investigative journalist, which is what I really want to do. Or, like, work in a morgue. It’s like one or the other.

You would work in a morgue
I’m fascinated by the human body. By the anatomy, I want to see the muscles, show the thing, show me the bones

[From YouTube via Just Jared]

I always wonder if these people who claim to suddenly be obsessed with whatever their latest project is are actually obsessed with it and had the clout to seek those projects out or if the real answer is, “these guys were willing to pay me so that’s why I’m doing it.” I guess the former makes better chat show content. I guess her producing both The Sinner and Limetown gives her claim some credence. Whatever. When it comes to Jessica, the only thing I am interested in is that she keeps her uneducated, dangerous anti-vaxx blithering out of my g-d capitol building.

The segment goes on and Seth suggests Jessica should do a morgue podcast called Jessica Biel: Who’s in This Drawer in which she talks it through like “those unboxing videos,” (my gawd, but I love Seth). As for the morgue part, I’ve never been around a dead human, save for the occasional open casket. But I never had trouble dissecting things in biology labs. I understand the fascination with unpacking how an organism is made up, primarily because they’re so well designed. And I love talking to myself, which would be acceptable in a morgue. But I don’t think I would want to work in one. If I’m being honest, it has more to do with the embalming fluid smells than all the bodies. And the fashion, I’ve gotten used to wearing open-toed shoes. So I’ll let Jessica have my morgue application. Let’s face it though – Jessica Biel is not yearning to do investigative journalism or morgue work instead of having an acting career.

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Photo credit: YouTube and WENN Photos

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